I'm just your average person next door. Almost 31 with a younger daughter, a loving better half, a place to call home and even a little dog named zero. We're the picture perfect family right? Not even in the least bit.. I live day to day with anxiety dissorder and panic attacks.. It all started at a young age. I was 8 happy, loved, and excited to start my first day of 2nd grade... My Teacher that year was Ms. Forster and from her look I knew this was gonna be an exciting year. After getting settled in and things put away at my desk my name was called from the front of the room. Yahh what could it be, I was told to grab my belongings and head to the office.. No way could this be happening! How lucky was I to be headed home on the first day of school.. As I walked through the hall at the end I saw my DaD and uncle waiting for me. As I got closer I could see a tears streaming down my dads face.. As I looked at him hopelessly waiting for him to muster the words I knew in my heart what he was about to say.. It can not be, no it's not true, I won't listen I kept saying in my mind as what I didn't want to hear came from my fathers lips.. Grandad died today sweetheart I'm soo sorry.. as I hugged him tight I remember feeling lost, alone, and scared for the first time in the short eight years I lived on this earth.. As time passed I felt more at ease. When the faurnal came around is when my life changed forever.. The furnel home smelled musty, people and family were crying as I walked up the isle to see him.. Their he laid looking soo peaceful.. He didn't look sick he looked like he was sleeping.. As I touched his hand it felt cold. I looked to my dad and asked him why grandad just don't wake up, wake up to make me my fav grilled cheese sandwiches none the less.. As I s started to scream for him to wake up the other family members leaped from their chairs as if someone said mean and hurtful things.. My father was told to take me and leave since I was causing a sceen.. Why on earth my granddads adult children felt threatened by an eight year old is beyond me.. That night in the car on the ride home I remember asking my mom and dad if I was gonna die! Their words I quote "No sweetheart people only die when their old".. This was the beginning of what caused my life to turn upside down, where fears take over and I feel weak!!! That was the beginning of my ANXIETY!!!