Well, here goes - my first diary post.
I have always been a quiet person. Very private and very shy toward other people. When I was growing up, I had issues with my friends all because as my father so befittingly pointed out - I was acting the way I thought they wanted me to act. How observant he was then..and still is today. Now he tells me that I could not cope without a dog in the house-hold. Again he is not only observant, yet accurate to boot.
My two dogs greeted me the day I came home from having breast surgery for breast cancer. I had a drain hanging out of my right side and we took all precautions so that I would not have any accidents with it. That I would get into the house without them pushing me down like Dino did to Fred Flintsone! It was a good challenge and we actually made it into the house, then into the loungeroom and onto the lounge. "Phew" I said "that was a blessing" then the phone rang..
It was my birthday you see, and I had been allowed home with one drain. I was told that the Home-Care nurses would visit me on daily basis to check the drain and ensure everything was fine. When the phone rang I expected it to be my mother. It wasn't it was a friend who rang me to wish me happy birthday. He then went into length about how he was so proud he remembered it was my birthday. So I felt fine..still listening to him and then heard him say he might need to look for a second job..
I foolishly, though not without compassion, asked him why. This was a mistake. He spent the next 20 minutes telling me how broke he was, how there were two invilids at home and how hard it was to find work these days. Well, I wondered - how interesting all this was, yet inside my head a voice could be heard to yell very loudly "HEY! I THOUGHT YOUR PHONED ME TO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" You see, the conversation seemed to be all about him. He was sad. He was depressed. He was lonely. He was having a hard job of coping with life.
I couldn't get a word in edge wise and when I did, I tried to sound posive. Isn't this, after all, the way one should be with friends. Forget that it was my birthday. Forget that I had just had major surgery to remove my breast - a part of my body that I was kind of attached to, having been together for the better part of 50 plus years..albeit in my young youth I wasn't really aware what it would be like to have them swollen and looking beautiful as they became.. Forget that I still had a drain inside my chest and that I needed help to dress and undress, as well as to shower. Forget that it would take me weeks, months even before I would feel confident in driving any distance at all...
No, the conversation was all about him. It was all about him not being able to go on holidays (I had wondered what holidays were for a long while now that we had two dogs and realised how expensive it was to board them). It was all about him not being able to take the weekend off and go for a drive in his you beaut new 4WD. It was all about him.....
Finally the conversation came to a slow drawl and I took the opportunity to say "well, thanks friend for ringing me and...oh yes, wishing me happy birthday...I think I hear someone calling me.." then I put the receiver down. I looked up at my parther and almost burst into tears. I would have too, if not for my beautiful and wonderfully spoilt two dogs we so quaintly refer to as "the kids" or what I refer to as "the monsters". They both jumped up on the lounge and jumped all over me. I flew caution to the wind and opened my arms to hug them both having them lick my face as though it were smeared with chocolate or something.
Then I knew - I was home! Home to two four legged people who loved me for me. Home to my partner who went through everything with me. Now I could cry with joy in my heart. Joy and Relief.
Surely, life could only improve from here on in.