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Needle Phobia creates its challenges

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I have needle phobia. It is not very strong, though it is there and to the point (arrgggg, sorry for the pun) though that I will argue with the person who wants to give or extract anything to/from me in any way as a needle. If it has a sharp point on it, then it doesn't come near me. 

During my time in hospital from my surgery, every day the vampires would come seeking a pint of my blood. Of course it may not have been a whole pint, though it certainly always looked like it was THAT much! When they would come to my bed I would spend the  next 10 minutes arguing with the poor nurse (sometimes male, sometimes female) about my needing a blood test today. I asked why, he/she said the doctor wants it, I said cut the crap, you know you want it...of course that didn't come right out aloud, it was the voice in my head that said that. I looked at him/her and continued to argue until finally I said "well, yes, okay...if you insist" Then it had to be in my left arm cos my right arm isn't allowed to have needles or blood pressure anymore on account of my lymph nodes being taken out as well. So that when they put the needle in it hurt like crazy cos there had been one the previous day!

So this kind of thing just went on and on and on. Each time I go to hospital for something or other, they want to put a canula in my left hand and I keep telling them "NO" They say "YES!" and then the charade continues. When they ask why I tell them I have needle phobia and that I'm likely to faint or something worse. I don't know what... just know that something worse can happen. Well, those doctors and nurses in there are quite adamant about me having a canula in my hand so eventually it goes in. Last time it happened was - on my birthday this year! I said No, the doctor said Yes and finally he managed to put it in. I was just feeling proud of myself when he had finished it and I could look around again, and that's when it happened!

Oh, oh, I said...I looked at the doctor and said I'm gonna be sick! Quick Get something! 

Sometimes I think those doctors react in slow motion, cos this time he said (rather conversationally) I don't have a vomit bag, hang on and I'll get one...as he finished off what he was doing. I started to panic cos I could tell something was coming up that I didn't want to come out. I saw a bin just a few metres away and said to my partner, quick, get that bin over here! Demanding that I was, then I said...oh oh,,.I'm gonna faint.

(As I am typing this, I am giggling cos now it is funny to look back, although it was far from funny at the time)

Then he says to me "Well, you can't do both, so  make up your mind!" That was the last thing I heard being said. I woke up a few minutes later to the doctor and a nurse calling my name. Didn't they know that I knew my name. They asked me silly questions like what is your name....do you know where you are?...do you know what you're here for? Of course I know where I am and who I am and I just thought I'd give myself a new Harry Potter scar this evening when I head butted the barbeque just for fun! DAAaaa!!!

So they put this canula in cos they think I may need some antibiotics or something for the big gash in the side of my temple that has blood coming out of it. Well, they didn't need the antibiotics, instead they put some saline in. Then they told me they needed a blood test from me and it was to come out of my arm! I said "You've got to be flamin' kidding me!!! :(  (I am very good, I don't swear these days) I demanded they take it out of my canula and they said they couldn't cos they were giving me some saline by now, so I had to go through all that again. This time it wasn't too bad cos the needle was finer.

After a few hours the doctor came and told me I would need stitches...again - the argument begain with No - Yes - No - YES! He won! I don't get it - how is it that they always win!

Well, he got everything ready and was about to start when I warned him I was going to be sick again. He just looks at me with his big brown eyes and I saw a slight roll...ever so slight...it was weird. As though he was thinking "here we go again" Then I said "I'm gona faint" and again my partner says "make up  your mind, you can't do both!" (another funny moment, eh?) So the doc says to me - would you like something to take for the nausea! I looked at him like he was some mad comedian! OF COURSE I'D LIKE SOMETHING FOR THE NAUSEA! shouted the voice in my head! I was mad by this time. The nurse was taking my blood pressure and noticed my heart rate climbing steadily. They gave me something for the nausea and then continued with the stitches. Telling me that the needle for the anaesthetic would hurt more than the needle for the stitches did nothing to help my tummy relax. My partner alongside of me is telling me to breathe! breathe! breathe! I AM BREATHING!!! again the voice is so loud in my head, my ears were ringing.

So eventually the doctor finishes my stitches and tells me to relax and lie back and sleep a little while until the tests come back for my blood test. By the time the tests were back I had been in there 8 hours and finally was relieved to be going home. My partner makes some funny ha ha, very tongue in cheek comment about the hospital being my second home and am I sure I want to leave? YES! I'M BLOOMIN' CERTAIN I WANT TO LEAVE! I HATE NEEDLES! I yelloed out aloud this time so he could hear it.

Yes, I hate needles and never want to have another one so long as I shall ever live....then I know there are more hospital visits in the future....just for tests mind you...but still more needles

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2 comments

  • Comment Link cabachona Thursday, 26 September 2013 09:41 posted by cabachona

    Oh that's awful Susan. I thought I had it bad. Yes, I totally relate to what you are talking about. Have you tried some meditation exercises at all?
    All the way through my treatment my partner kept telling me to breathe - don't forget to breathe! Visualisation helps a little too. If you can visualise yourself in a really great place. I am winning the battle - well, every battle is part of the larger picture of the war. So in that case, I am winning battle after battle. I am improving and then sometimes I fall off the wagon. It is worth persevering though. Think of the challenge as if you were competing against yourself in the olympics. Remember how they all talk about their best time...we can talk about our best achievement!
    Good luck with your next time.
    What gets me through these experiences when I know they will come is that I picture myself living the day after and the day after that and the day after that too. Then being able to look back and say "I did that"
    But just sometimes when it isn't expected, I do fall down some..

  • Comment Link Susan smith Thursday, 26 September 2013 08:16 posted by Susan smith

    What a day you must have had. Its good you can look back on it and laugh, till the next time. I have a phobia about hospitals panic as soon as iI see it, I have five injections in my neck mustles four times a year. The build up of anxiety a couple of days before I'm due to go is a nightmare.

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