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How I Acquired my Anxiety

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The day gave no sign that anything unusual was going to happen that day, it was supposed to be any other day, started with a breakfast with coffee.

After breakfast, I chugg.ed down the last of my coffee and proceeded to wash the dishes, mom was in the living room watching television and my brother was somewhere in the background.

After washing the dishes, I felt a little warm and nauseous, my nose was itching, I thought that I was going to come down with the flu. I sat down, feeling tired all of a sudden when a wave of nausea hit me, my heart beat fast. I turned to my mom, not knowing what to say, I did not want to worry her, I told her that I felt dizzy.

She replied with a reprimand as my mom usually does, so I turned my head back to the television. But I just could not shake off the nausea.

It got worse, my head felt like it was spinning, I could hear my heart beating fast, I was trying to catch my breath. I told my mom calmly, help me I feel dizzy; I think it was the coffee. 

My heart beat faster, my feet were constricting and so did my hands,  my arms and legs followed until it went up my chest, it feel so tight, I could not breathe and I thought that I was having a heart attack, that I was going to die.

I was told to breathe deeply, and I did, my brother bought me a glass of water, my mom massaged my arms with oil, they yelled for my dad.

I remember my mom telling me to pray. I was scared as fuck so I tried it and went ''God, please''. Of course, as an atheist, I immediately felt silly and dropped the prayer and focused on my breathing.

They took me to the emergency room, the nurses sat me down. The doctor checked my vitals. She said that my airways were not blocked but my pulse was abnormally fast and that I was probably having a panic attack.

They put me on bed and gave me a paper bag to breathe in. I must commend the nurse for making a sturdy bag out of used bond paper and adhesive tape. Clearly, it was newly made because I could still smell the adhesive. My brother came in to watch over me, and said to me in a serious manner ''Janna, if this is because you got pregnant, just tell us already''. I could not help but laugh, he did not know I was gay.

I was trying to calm down, watching the paper bag go in and out of itself was calming. My limbs were tingling all over; I could still hear my heart. I was alone with until a nurse came by and I was cheered up, although I was undoubtedly in distress, I was not blind, she was pretty. She chatted with me a little as she wrapped the blood pressure measuring apparatus around my arm, I couldn't help it, I flexed my biceps.

 

Still feeling shitty but happy, a different nurse came in asked my bro to leave and conducted an ECG, it was cool, they stuck some electrodes on me which was no problem because I had no bra on in the first place.

The doctor came by to interpret the results, it was normal except for the abnormally fast heart beat. She prescribed something to slow down my heart which my sister did not approve off. My sister is a doctor herself and was worried that my heart would slow down to much. So she gave me just a tiny bit of the meds.

It took me about 5 hours to calm down, they were going to confine me to a different hospital but just got a second opinion instead and I went home. I would like to say that was the end of it but alas, it was only the beginning.

 

 

 

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