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I don't think I have written in a diary since I was probably 12 years old. I grew up in South America. I saw so many things a child should never see. This caused some PTSD but I had no clue until I was an adult. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. it was always manageable except for a brief time in my very early 20s. And now I'm 30 and having the most severe panic attacks I have ever had. It's hard to tell what triggered them. The migraines that all of a sudden started happening? Oh no! I must have an aneurism or a mass in my brain! … panic attack… or maybe it was when my blood work came back with high cholesterol? Oh no! I'm gonna have a heart attack any second now! I have to stop eating! I'm so hungry but I don't want to die!!… panic attack… chest is tight fingers tingling. That's it! I'm about to die!! … panic attack… and nobody understands. And I'm told it's all in my head and to just calm down…

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