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it's not like i am that self absorbed 
well yeah it look as if 
but you know, yeah
i have to be
to fit in
but really, not to fit in
it's all i have
to fall back on
so i have this defense mechanism
that changes me into a bitch
it isn't you
it's me
but also it is you really
the way you come at me
not you, reading 
but the ones who know or see 
there's something different inside of me
and with casualty 
they'll prey up until they're 
both internally penetrating the inside of me 
both body and brain
and yes i'm also to blame
having a self destructive attitude myself 
they call it codependency 
and still yet i don't care
for lack of self worth
which all came from
abusive men who've always decideded what's best for me 
and so now i say no, or yeah a hell yes
because i am too old now to miss out on love
i don't care who you are
all i know, what matters most 
are where my fucking boundaries are set
and are not taken as quote on quote rules
see that is how they twist you
by now though i believe i'm more self sufficient
though i do still rely on people including my parents
but if i get taken advantage of
and i want it
then i'll let you have me
that's who i am
anything
anybody
who-ever you are mister monkey
i won't be anything i'm not
so listen slowly
don't fuck me
like that
where it hurts in the head

More in this category: « fenced codepency »
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