... "I thought you were going to try today. Just curious"... What do you say to that??...how do you answer...?.. Should I tell them how it took me almost 4 hours to get out of bed to go pee this morning? Or how I went back to bed after... Should I tell them that the thought of leaving my house today made me want to crawl into a corner and never turn the lights on. ...how reality feels like the fantasy and how this fantasy is more like a deep rooted tragedy .... How I cover my self in shame and regrets ....for losing days...weeks...months of things I could be doing ....if I wasn't too busy...trying to encourage myself to continue living. If you can call this thing I'm doing ...living...its more like bare
... "I thought you were going to try today. Just curious"....
(Answer in my head)...I tried and failed miserably...like I do almost every single day...I tried and I fucking failed at life.
... "I thought you were going to try today. Just curious
(Real answer) ... I'm sorry