Life, with a Mental Illness
We trudge along in the world. Somedays are great, while others, the mere task of getting out of bed can be a daunting task. We live with dark clouds swirling above our heads, yet plastered onto our face is a decieving smile. Seeing a crowd of people makes our hearts skip a beat, because we are afraid.
Afraid of what? Most of the time, this is a question that I ask myself, often with no answer in return. Perhaps some of us had harmful and damaging previous experiences that left us with a scar. In our heads, we picture every circumstance in which this situation could go wrong. These pictures seem so real in our heads, and, they are scary.
At night, we lay wide awake, with that image of something that went wrong from about a month ago replaying in our heads. We lay awake, because deep down we are afraid.
We are afraid of what will happen to us. What is it that will happen in the future? Why did these events have to happen before? Again, questions that I often ask myself, often with no answer in return. More questions and more worrying.
In the morning, it is hard. It is hard to get out of bed. I will not lie, many days I am faced with the realization that a whole new day lies ahead. A whole new day that could be filled with joy and laughter, or fear and sadness. Again questions that are played over and over again in our heads.
We look in the mirror and see our bloodshot eyes with dark bags under them, all from the lack of sleep from the night before. We trudge on once again.
As we get to the places that we need to be, we are asked how we are doing. It is strange, most of the time, when someone states the phrase "How are you?" they are often looking for the answer that they want- "I'm fine, how are you?" and so on and so forth. When we genuinly answer back how we REALLY are doing, the response we get is often "I'm sure it's not that bad" and "You're just being too negative, cheer up a bit, will you? Some people have it much worse than you", and ect.
Studies show that the majority of the human population will live with a mental illness in at least one point of their life. If so many people are suffering from these debilitating illnesses, why do we not talk about them as much as we should? Why is it being swept under the rug? Again, once again questions that are waiting to be anwered, and they are problems that CAN be solved.
Mental illness is something that many people have had to or are experiencing in their lives right now. To any of you that are fighting a battle of an illness, MENTAL OR PHYSICAL, I want you to know that you are a truly special being. I once read this one quote, "Butterflies do not know the color of their wings, but the human eyes know how beautiful it is. Likewise, you don't know how good you are, but others can see that you are special." To be fighting a battle of a illness is definetely no easy feat. I know that you all have the power to get through this because you are all so special <3!
Here's to combating these illnesses and breaking the mental illness stigmas! <3
---Hugs to you all! <3 ----