Tuesday, 03 April 2012 07:20

Starfrenzy: My experience on Anxiety Social Net

Starfrenzy: My experience on Anxiety Social Net

 

I would like to share my story with you all in hopes that it may help with your own situation. Allow me to explain a little about myself. I am 28 years old and have been suffering from anxiety pretty much my entire life. It wasn't until I was a teenager in highschool that I found out what social anxiety disorder was. I suffer from social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety, a mild form of agoraphobia and bouts of depression.

 

completely withdrew from life and only went from work to home and that was it. I joined a group for people with Social Anxiety disorder on Facebook and saw a link to Anxiety Social Network and immediately it was like I had found my life line. When I joined I was severely depressed finding it hard to get out of bed most days. The best way I can describe the way I was feeling was disappointed that I was alive and looking for a way out. I thought about suicide constantly as my mind was filled with nothing but thoughts of ending my pain. I decided that I had to do something or I was going to end up dying by my own hand. I am introverted by nature and value my privacy very highly and I don't really confide in anyone. For some reason, after joining ASN I started to open up to the people here like I never thought was possible.

 

I used my real name, location and picture and decided that being honest and open about everything was the best way to deal with this since I hide it from people in my "waking" life. No one really knew how debilitating my anxiety was or how greatly effected by it I was. No one knew how diminished my life had become and just how deep and dark my depression was. I describe it as a black whole that was draining the life out of me and I felt there was no way out and no escape. One of my biggest fears was just addressing the problem. I felt like once I confronted it, it was real and I was trapped underneath the weight of it. With the encouragement and support I found at ASN slowly over time I was able to talk openly and freely about it.

 

I updated my status about the way I was feeling and wrote in my diary about things I could never say to anyone else at least not face to face. The members of ASN were so supportive and encouraging that I starting gaining back my will to live. Just knowing that other people truly understood how I felt and seeing them overcoming their fears gave me hope. I no longer wanted to die. I wanted to live and give myself a chance at happiness. I took the first big step in my journey with anxiety and made a doctors appointment to talk to them about it. I have begun to confide more in the people in my life ranging from family to friends. I would have never had the courage to do that had it not been for ASN. This community has truly saved my life and I do not know what would have become of me if I hadn't found this site. Hopefully if you are reading this it will give you some hope as well. While this anxiety will never go away we can manage it and get through it. We can't do it alone but together we are unstoppable.

 

Starfrenzy



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Last modified on Thursday, 31 May 2012 21:23

2 comments

  • fearistheweakness Wednesday, 04 July 2012 08:12 posted by fearistheweakness

    Im in a similar situation. I suffer from panic attacks that litterally bring me to the ground. Shaking and in tears i fear that i'll become ill. I've just started my recovery....but i dont know if i will live long enough how do i push myself off of rock bottom?

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  • Rusty Covey Friday, 25 May 2012 17:03 posted by Rusty Covey

    Lets look at a few things in the order they started working. The brain, the five senses, the subconscious mind and the finally the mind. (I believe we have billions of genes, these genes can be turned on naturally, through thinking, and actions. It would be nice had we a road map to know which genes to turn on and know when to turn them off. Genes are what created how you look and do things, certain genes turned on by thinking a certain may have created our mental illnesses.)
    1.The Brain once developed started off with an electrical charge, the electrical charge got the brain to working which brought 2. The Subconscious mind to life(research subconscious mind, my belief, the subconscious mind should be the mind to use throughout our whole life. So, what happened?)the subconscious mind is curious and very powerful, turning on a gene through its actions, the gene was the 3. The Five Senses will feed the brain information while the subconscious mind processes the information.
    Take notice of a new born baby, by the first birthday, the baby will be walking, saying words and wanting to explore everything through the five senses with the open minded subconscious mind. How was it possible for a baby with almost zero knowledge, experience, skills, memory, and so much more do all this in one year? The Subconscious Mind a free go with the flow, nothing is right or wrong, nothing is good or bad, all things are fascinating, and most of all the subconscious mind is very creative. A creative, explorer, take risk, no fear, very powerful, and likes to smile.
    This powerful and naturally ability will slowly fade once 4. The Conscious Mind comes to life, by the age of six the subconscious mind will only work during sleep creating dreams.
    A recent research show after the age of six and throughout a person's life, their mental activity will never be on the level it was in the first few years. What caused this drop in mental activity?
    The conscious mind, the thinking mind(thinking is a closed circuit) took over the processing of the five senses from the subconscious mind.
    This makes people a little more lazy, causing people to not take risk, they develop fear, they develop habits, which in turn creates a comfort zone.
    The conscious mind got us to thinking. So, lets go back to the brain, a data processing center, with a memory capacity far greater then any computer on the face of this planet and its how it works is the same as it was the day you were born.
    The brain doesn't know up from down, cold from wet, or hot from dry or any of the things the five senses discover, doesn't recognize time, and doesn't know right from wrong. The brain is like a baby, your brain hasn't changed.
    Play with a one year old child. The child will explore everything, take risk and have fun with everything, the child doesn't know what work is, the child doesn't know failure is, the child will forget pain, the child will not keep recalling a bad memory or experience and so on.
    That is until the mind takes over. Your brain will create chemicals depending on what you think and do, your thinking created your condition, your fear of taking risk created your condition.
    I personally want to tell you and the readers, you can take back your life at any time. Start by exploring your five senses, touch everything in your home, then take it outside, when you go place touch stuff, feel the texture. The next day, smell everything in your home, outside, different places. Next, close your eyes to hear the sides, get up early before the son comes up, go outside, look around at the trees dancing, listen to the sounds of the birds, feel the cool morning air. (if, you like to take a walk around outside, make this walk, "my walk meditation" do this once you are able to control your thoughts. Take in the wonderful sounds, smells and the cool air without thinking, this will free your subconscious mind, which will bring about a peaceful effect making you feel like a child again.)
    Continue to explore your other five senses by trying new foods, new music, new sounds at the zoo, the park and so on, go be an explorer again. Bring the "Five Senses" back to life. This will also stimulate the brain cells.
    A person can reverse any psychological condition once they learn how to use their five senses to explore life. Exploring life means "I will not do the same things I did yesterday." Each day I will find something new to do. My focus is on my five senses! Not other people.
    GO EXPLORING WITH YOUR FIVE SENSES!

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