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Wednesday, 19 September 2012 10:56

The Secret to Happiness

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I remember being a little kid, and learning what happiness was. Sure, most people know what happiness feels like, and I'm no exception. But I'm talking about that blissful happiness you see in the movies, too. The kind where tears of joy stream down the face of the happy person, because they're just so overwhelmingly pleased about something. I recall trying to make myself feel as happy as the people in those movies, and as happy as I assumed others were, but I could never be that joyous.

 

I would sit up, at 3am and onwards, staring into the TV, wondering why I couldn't be as happy as other people were. Wondering why things had to be so difficult, every day, while other people got to be happy. Pondering whether the only tears I'd ever cry would be sad ones.

 

Anxiety was my respite from sadness. Not anxiety like somebody gets before a date, or during an exam, but a fear so intense that it literally made me collapse. My oasis in a desert of depression was a crippling surge of terror that would come at unpredictable and frequent times.

 

But then I found a way to get some of that happiness for myself. No, it wasn't religion, nor was it from a bunch of platitudes like "True happiness is inside us all." No, it was a real solution. A solution that worked, and was known to work because of the science behind it. Some of it came from maturity, but a lot of my newfound ability to feel joy came from drugs. Antidepressants, and other medicine, to be precise.

 

Yes, beautiful, magnificent, trialled, tested, and approved by science drugs. Some may say "But drugs aren't the answer. They're unnatural, and true happiness comes from learning to listen to what your body and mind need." But those people are deluded. Now I can be joyful, from time to time. I can have days where I'm not afraid to leave my room, and days where I can go to school, and I can do many things I could never have done before.

 

I'm not cured. I may never be cured. I may never be able to do everything that regular people can do, but that's ok. Because compared to how I was, and how horrible life seemed, now I feel free.

Last modified on Thursday, 20 September 2012 17:21

4 comments

  • Comment Link OwlJulie Wednesday, 20 March 2013 10:49 posted by OwlJulie

    I tried anxiety and depression meds for over 10 years and they didnt work for me. At that time, I also saw counselors.

  • Comment Link Dav Roth Sterling Monday, 19 November 2012 21:45 posted by Dav Roth Sterling

    drugs is just a band aids...fruits and veggies is the cure!

  • Comment Link sarah attrill Friday, 02 November 2012 13:20 posted by sarah attrill

    i have finally given in to seeking prescription help. YEARS ive either "self medicated" to extreme with drink an drugs, or denied / avoided etc etc, felt like i have tried EVERYTHING,.. always wit an open mind for possibility... i am about to start the joyful transition into finding suitable meds, with help of a therapist... AGAIN, but since making this decision and getting additional help with my Panic disorder, though it hasnt slowed or stopped , i am feeling HOPEFUL for the first time in a LOOONG time, which is an awesome feeling.
    All i got to say is, keep an open mind, never rule anything out, and of cause "To each , his own" its different for everyone

  • Comment Link Eddieoz Wednesday, 19 September 2012 18:56 posted by Eddieoz

    antidepressants will only get you so far, they just clear the air a bit and give a person a chance to sort out whats really going on. youre dead right to feel so happy about the bit of freedom it gives you but it can get a lot better. i'm the same as you now, on tablets for about 2 months and it has lifted a bit of pressure for me but im not going to settle for this bit of happiness,not when theres a lot more to be got. you can be cured, its just going to take a lot of effort, just be thankful for the internet for all that can be learned about any condition. knowledge is key.

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