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Diary

In this category are all the diary's of the different users of the site.

It's 12:27 p.m. My throat feels weird I'm trying to eat a banana, I guess it's my fear of choking. Can't tell if it's my anxiety or maybe a food allergy.
The importance of physical fitness cannot be overlooked. In today's society, which is moving towards a more deskbound lifestyle, there is a greater need for regularly exercising to maintain body weight and cardiovascular fitness. Regular exercising or workout can benefit you in several ways. It helps decrease your risk of cancer, stroke, diabetes and high blood pressure. Exercising is something that gives you pleasure and contentment, as well as relief from stress, depression and anxiety. De facto, no matter how fit you think you are; One-arm push-up can prove to be one of the greatest exercises for developing reasonable upper body strength. Though one-arm push up is damn hard to learn and practice, yet it greatly helps in strengthening your muscles and making them stronger. It builds strength in your shoulders, chest, triceps and core muscles.Requiring a huge amount of practice and serious efforts, One-arm push up is an incredible exercise, which helps in burning more calories compared to other easier weight-loss exercises. If done along with single-leg squats every day, it can significantly help you burn calories along with…
Yesterday was the best day ever not because I was stuck in bed I was out with my cousin to be planning the last bit of the wedding im the bridemaid unfortunately but it was the best day i ever had to be honest I never laughed so much in my life I nearly got bit by a seagull and my cousin nearly got bit I. Her face I always wanted a friend like that even because am not socially stable doesn't mean I Carnt have friends someone to just spill my heart to , today just the same old day saying in bed not tired just don't wanna face the worof just want to be alone sleeping for thousand of years  Is that to much to ask ? 
I'm feeling pretty useless since school has ended. I have no job and my kids are still in their schools. I feel like I should be doing something productive. Also starting to doubt the whole change of career thing. I am happy to be working towards my goals but afraid i'm making a mistake at the same time. Trying to look at the postive and focus on my goals. But it is hard today
my day started like any other day pretty much sleeping til the afternoon not because im tired because im seriously depressed on one hand iv got my family problems and the other iv got ex problems not because i still love him its him mentally abusing me you think they love you forever but really its just a big nightmare always blame myself for everything thats happened to me i think i deserved being raped iv heard it off so many people so its must be real iv let my family down im not a perfect daughter or sister just because i take things to heart i dont go out like a normal teenager would just because im scared of being hurt everyone my danger not in plain eye sight in my head am overthinking just hope tomorrow is a better day 
I suffer from depression and high anxiety and excess worry and panic attacks hard to go to sleep at nite sleep to long. I am happly married and we have two cats and I am a christian.  
   Today I had an awful day. I felt like I was in this fog all day and I was so moody. My body felt weak and numb, it felt I was walking around in someone else's skin. I tried talking to mom about it because we are so close but I've come to realize that when it comes to my anxiety and depression she takes the good old "sweep it under the rug" approach. Her thoughts today on my mood were as follows; "Is there something wrong? Are youand your boyfriend fighting? Are you close to that time of the month? Why do you let your phone calls with grandma upset you? You know she has no filter and just says the first thing that pops in her mind. You should be so happy, Matt(my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years) just got back from Italy after being away for four months and you guys are going to Disney World in a few days! Everyone has bad days, you just have to push the feelings aside and carry on. Be…
im trying to make a point to make an entry into this diray thing everyday.  So, today was alright.  still didnt feel like doing shit today ether, ended up playing Civ 5 most of the day.  then it got to be around 5 oclock and i was like, "fuck i cant let this  whole weekend go by and not get one thing i planed finished."  so i popped an adderal and started cleaning and putting together........idk what it is but it sits over the toliet and it like a selves and shit.  my new vacume DOOOOPE!! dud i got the this 15amp cyclone vacume.  Dude i vacumed my liveing room (aka Gym) and my bedrrom and filled it a 1/3 the way up the container.  now mind you i vacume about once a week....thats alot of dust man lol   back to the pill thing, im alittle worried about that.  i kinda feel that im takeing to much.  i was trying not to take any this weekend to make up for the extras i took during work last week.....but i…
i do i feel to day? unacomplished!! i havent done jack shit all day. i have new furniture to build, i have a new 200 dollar vacume, hell i even got one of them fancey cheif cooking set.  the one thing i did do is put up my new shower currtin.  which is pretty dope i must say.  its not as good looking as i thougt it would be.  when i saw on the website it looked dark and in dispare.  But now that its in my home it kinda makes me look gay lol.  i guess i feel a little depressed today.  not just because i didnt get anything done, but i think its communication.  ive been terriable at continuing a conversation with anybody, especially females.  for the past few days i thought i was getting a little better at it, but after today maybe im not.  i tried to help any and everyone.  i know what its like to have absolutely no one around you nor understand the you thing, and your absolutley alone.  so for a couple of years…
i do i feel to day? unacomplished!! i havent done jack shit all day. i have new furniture to build, i have a new 200 dollar vacume, hell i even got one of them fancey cheif cooking set.  the one thing i did do is put up my new shower currtin.  which is pretty dope i must say.  its not as good looking as i thougt it would be.  when i saw on the website it looked dark and in dispare.  But now that its in my home it kinda makes me look gay lol.  i guess i feel a little depressed today.  not just because i didnt get anything done, but i think its communication.  ive been terriable at continuing a conversation with anybody, especially females.  for the past few days i thought i was getting a little better at it, but after today maybe im not.  i tried to help any and everyone.  i know what its like to have absolutely no one around you nor understand the you thing, and your absolutley alone.  so for a couple of years…

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