It feels like starting over, it feels like is an infinite strech of up and downs. It feels like both day and night. On my worst days, my mind screams, "I want my old life back" and on my best, "I have hope that I will be better than my yesterday" but like the ocean, it seems like a tired endless motion of tides and waves, drawing in and going back and I find myself laying motionless on the shores as time whips me and pulls me back, my soul crashes against the waves. However, I can do all things through christ who strengths me, and my beacon of hope comes through the light I KNOW is within me. This real picture of joy, endless laughter, joy and love, things that are endowed in me, and more importantly self love which is teaching me, I am not what anyone calls me, I am only me. Hope is an endless strength that looks past the present adversity, but a stretch into the bright yellow sun.