Saturday, 04 October 2014 06:03

My Journey

Hi, my name is Holly. I am seeking out a community of people who understand anxiety. I feel so alone in my condition sometimes. I feel like I am crazy and that I make up everything that is wrong with me, but I am learning that that is not true.

I have been going to doctors very routinely since about the 1st grade (I am a sophomore in college now). For all these years, I have usually been told that nothing is wrong with me. My problems have been breathing issues, stomach issues, acid reflux, neck pain, general body pain, exhaustion, sore throat, exessive mucus, etc. I always felt hopeless and insane. I felt like I was making up my problems and became progressively depressed.

In the 10th grade I became extremely depressed. I was very suicidal and started taking antidepressents. I honestly don't remember much after getting on those pills. All I know is that they stopped my anxiety attacks and they caused me to sit at home and stare at a lot of walls. I think I was working with a bad psychologist at this point in my life. I am trying to get the courage to try anti anxiety pills soon because the anxiety is out of control again.

My current problems include breathing difficulties, extreme stomach pain, inability to eat much, exhaustion, and lots and lots of emotional anxiety issues. After going to 3 specialists, I have been told that nothing is physically wrong with me and that basically all of my medical conditions can be attributed to anxiety. The time has come for me to try anti-anxiety pills because this anxiety is taking over my life.

I am trying to be hopeful that things will get better. I have big dreams. I am an actress and a singer and I want to pursue those passions. I want a family and I want happiness. But anxiety is stopping me from doing all of this. I need a community to be on my side and help me to understand my anxiety. But I am going to have faith that it will get better. I need to have faith that it will get better.

Published in Diary