Today, was a very shaky day. exam after exam the cramming is started to finally get to me and cause me to panic. if it wasn't for him i don't know whether i would still be here today. all though he is in trouble with everything, i am so proud of him for just soldering on and being the amazing brave person I know he can be <3 the only problem now is that I can't decide whether it would be good for him if we stay together considering everything that has happened at the current moment. his court date is on the 1st of July and i promised i would be there for him, but honestly I don't know what to think about anything anymore...
So, I've dealt with anxiety for the better part of my life and for a long time, I really felt like it was defining who I was as a person. I was dead wrong. Anxiety and the problems that are associated with it are simply one of my deficits and you know what? That's ok. It's really no different than me looking at my having fair skin as a deficit or a disadvantage because I get sunburns easily.
All I do to deal with it is use sunscreen, problem solved! Now comparing a sunburn to having an anxiety attack is REALLY dumbing it down but the principle is the same isn't it? With anxiety, we try several different coping mechanisms and some work and some don't but we still try. It's why we're here trying to get in touch with other people with the same issues so we can talk about it.
I say all of this knowing that I don't always feel this way because my anxiety does feel like it consumes me at times but at the end of the day, this is not who I am. Anxiety cannot beat me no matter how hard it tries because I'm still here and if you're reading this, I'm pretty sure you're still here too. Still here fighting every day to make our lives as good as we can with a common goal: to be happy.
I challenge each and every one of you with anxiety problems to look in the mirror and speak directly to your anxiety and simply say, "You cannot beat me". We're better than that. We're actually normal believe it or not. It took me a long time to figure that out and I might need your supporting words at times when I'm weak but I'll be strong enough to ask for them. I believe in all of you as I hope you believe in me that we can make sure that this does not rule us. It's simply just one of those things we have to deal with......and that is ok.