Monday, 18 June 2012 03:18

My last Two Weeks

Last two weeks have been so hard on me. I find myself thinking of my past relationships and letting it affect my relationship i have now. Since Mother's Day i went from Fighting with neighbor over kids playing in open yard (live in a trailer park kids are kids) to a close friend dying in a motor cycle accident 5 minutes from her home on mother's day. Then a friend 's(i call mom ) Daughter and Son  in law were in a bad accident and their two friends were with them and one was pregnate. and the other driver was only 25 and died. then haveing a nother neighbors 9 year old choke my nine year old leaving hand marks on my sons neck. and having the kids mom and dad swear at my son and yell for three days across the park that i am a whore. plus making comments about my  kids being on meds. Then for two weeks now i have let my past take over my mind and think my sweet man was cheating on me. Then the other day my dad ended up in hospital broke his ankle in three places. I found myself not journaling like i always did everyday. and not wanting to go anywhere or talk to anyone. Then being mad at myself for going back to my old ways after coming so far in my life step by step. Then to have people even some family not understand what i go threw and not understand that it can come and go and that it is a serious problem and that i am working on it. that i try to face my agoraphopia by slowly going places with little people around to alot of people. i cant get some to understand that i need to face it just like people face fears of heights or spiders ect.

Confussed Depressed Anxiety Attacks and Feeling Alone.

Published in Diary
Tuesday, 08 May 2012 20:04

Issues

Recently I started seeing a guy that I met on-line,pretty much because my mum convinced me I was going to end up alone.

I didn't tell him about my anxiety or depression because I don't really like to discuss it.

But then my little boy contracted a sickness bug(I have a sick phobia and anxiety caused by my fear of him dying) so I had an anxiety attack so had to explain myself to him.

I told well kinda lied and told him it didn't really effect me.

Anyway he decided it was his place to inform all his friends of my issues.......

Published in Diary
Tuesday, 08 May 2012 20:04

Issues

Recently I started seeing a guy that I met on-line,pretty much because my mum convinced me I was going to end up alone.

I didn't tell him about my anxiety or depression because I don't really like to discuss it.

But then my little boy contracted a sickness bug(I have a sick phobia and anxiety caused by my fear of him dying) so I had an anxiety attack so had to explain myself to him.

I told well kinda lied and told him it didn't really effect me.

Anyway he decided it was his place to inform all his friends of my issues.......

Published in Diary