I spent the night with David last night. It felt really nice to be around him and sleep next to him. I had a few close calls with panic attacks, however.
We decided to meet at the grocery store closest to us by the flowers department. When I got there I grabbed a cart, wiped off the handle with a sanitizing wipe and started to look around for something to make for dinner. Someone was walking behind me and it made me feel so uncomfortable. I wanted to let go of my cart and run out of the store. Instead, I gripped the handle tightly and with tears in my eyes, I walked to the flowers department to just wait for David. I started taking deep breaths and decided to smell the different scented candles to try to distract myself and calm myself down.
Soon David was there and I felt a lot better. I felt a sense of protection. That posed the question for me: Do we, as anxiety sufferers, rely too much on our loved ones for support? I thought about this for the rest of the grocery trip, up until we got home and started watching some movie rentals.
During my stay there some adult themed activities happened that caused me more anxiety. I won't talk about them on here because I know all different ages use this site.
I feel really great today, back at home. I wish it could last forever and I'm hoping it will last for quite some time. It's nice to break free from constant anxiety living.
Use writing as a tool to help you with anxiety
I've known you for a really long time now and I have to tell you that I really hate the way you make me feel. I definitely respect the power that you hold but I'm here to tell you that I can't see you as much as I have in the past. It's really time for both of us to move on. Don't be sad, I'm sure that you'll still come and visit but it really has to be on a more limited basis from now on. You see, I've met someone named Happiness and I really like them and how they make me feel. I lose touch with Happiness here and there but I'm going to keep looking for them which means I have to spend less time with you. I've wanted to say this for a long time but finally had the courage to actually say something. Well, take care of yourself and I'm sure you'll be fine because there's more out there for you to see.
Best of luck and remember: Don't call me, I'll call you,
Ok so this is just a small example of what we can do but I honestly think it helps. If I have to write a thousand letters before I feel better, I will do that and I think you would too. It doesn't have to just be a letter to your issue. Write a letter to your family who may not understand the issues you are going through. You don't have to send it to them. Just the fact that you WROTE your feelings down can have a powerful impact. It's something that all of us can control so why not do it? I'll probably have to write this same letter tomorrow and I'll even have days when I don't want to write at all but just know that it is something that we can try to help make things better. Isn't that what we all want?
All joking aside, this post resonated with me. Worth a read: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/11/the-anxious-idiot/?src=me&ref=general