Tuesday, 14 April 2015 01:24

When does it end?

     When does the anxiety end?  I have bad days, good days and O.K. days, but the anxiety always comes back.

    That anxious feeling is never completely gone, because there is always that lingering fear that It could change at any moment. 

    Will life always be this way? Will it always be a struggle to live life normally? When does it end?

   I feel like I am going around in circles. I feel like a hampster on a wheel. I feel hopeless sometimes. 

   I could lose everything in a blink of an eye. I am barely staying above water. I am floating aimlessly without a life jacket.


     How do I calm myself down when the panic sets in?

    The panic attack will pass, but my life remains the same,


     When does it end?

Published in Diary

I'm currently in a state of anxiety where my whole body feels tense. My musles are tight and woumd up. it physically hurts. I feel Lonely and nobody in my house understand what it feels like. I am so TIRED of people telling me to relax. If only it were that easy to do. I went to the doctor so a similar reason while i was in the middle of an attack not as sever but pretty bad. my heart was a little bit up. SHe told me that i had high blood pressure and gave me medicine for it even after i explained that i suffered from this illness and what was going on. It made wanna tell her that she was not help at all im looking for another primary care given she did not make me feel comfortable. I made feel helplkess and sad that she is not sympathetic or at least i dont feel like she was sympathetic. Sometimes I feel like I cant focus. think. or functiona nd I look for help but I dont feel like i get it. and not having money because i dont feel like i can function in my job does not help at all. I feel helpless and even though i know its unrealistic i wnat results now. Feeling like this sucks!!!

Published in Diary
Monday, 03 November 2014 18:48

First Input

Have been very anxious and depressed without seemingly to be able to control it. Prayer and meditation help alot, but medications  so far have not been working out or have given me bad side effects so get off of them after a few weeks or even a few days. Palpitations, suddenly waking in the night out of a sound sleep, heart pounding...it's getting very old VERY fast.  Tired of the fears and persistent thoughts of dying.  Tired of the dizzyness, weakness and fatigue. Tired of the gastrointestinal problems, constipation then diarrea, cramping, gas pain, reflux and globus feeling. Just tired. Frustrated.

Published in Diary
Page 1 of 3