Nine years later , I finally can see the light. I feel like over time I have been in a tunnel so dark. I simply moved to work because I had to. I moved to care for my children because I had to. I had no idea of how lost I was. I turned to no one and recived no meditical attention. But yet the time was so dark and forgotten. Can one suffer in silence and not realize it? I kept busy to avoid thoughts. I know this now. Today my life seems so much meaningful. I still get feelings of saddness, jealously, anxiety. But the difference is I'm able to look past that. The future is bright. For the first time I have meaning. I'm not just simply moving. I'm moving with purpose with hope. There is a end. At the end is also the beginning.