Hi everyone, my name is Lexie. I am brand new to this site I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. I am also emetophobic. As a kid I was always a worrier. I had many problems with worrying about getting in trouble, or not having a partner/group for projects. These worries consumed all my time. If I stopped worrying and was at peace I would suddenly remember that I had something to worry about and go right back to worrying.
I was very healthy. I only had season allergies. No severe illnesses and no chronic conditions. At the age of 12 I woke up one morning and couldn't get back to sleep. A few hours later I vomitted. I thought I had the flu so I went back to sleep. A few hours later I woke up and felt like nothing had ever happened. A few days later the same thing happened again. This time it happened 3 days in a row. Eventually I would feel this way almost every day. I went to the doctor who presceibed anti-emetics.
To make a long story short I was treated for acid reflux, hormonal imblances, and just general dyspepsia. Despite all these treatments and many tests I was not feeling any different. At one point my doctor had suggested stress, but we dismissed that since i got some reflief from the ant-acids. I was on ant-acids and digestive aids all through high school. At the age of 22 I was in university, had been on many treatments, repeated a lot of the medical tests and still got no results. I went back to my doctor to bring this topic up again. She suggested anxiety and gave me a few tips and tricks to help. The next few months I used a mixture of digestive aids and relaxation.
Right after my last doctor's visit one of my friends at work ended up being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I could see alot of similarities between the two of us and started taking my diagnosis more seriously. About a year ago she went through a very rough patch and was talking to me about it. I finally got up the courage to tell her that I also have anxiety. I really thought she was going to cry. She was so happy that she didnt have to suffer by herself anymore. We became eachother's support system after our initial discussion. This brought us a lot closer together. If one of us is struggling we always message eachother. I became a lot more open to the idea of treating my sef for an anxiety disorder.
This past May, I graduated from university with a BA in Psychology. In between job hunting and adjusting to life without school, I decided that this would be a good time to get help. I went back to my doctor and was given questionnaires. I was also started on medication and given a referral for group therapy. I was on the meds for 2 months before starting therapy (long waiting list). I had noticed subtle changes. My stomach was feeling better and I was generally less anxious (but still extremely anxious).
I met with a psychologist who runs various therapy groups on an outpatient basis at the local hospital. She suggested the intensive group. It runs 5 days a week for 12 weeks. They had space available for the week after that. I decided that this was the only time in my life where I would have the time to do something like this. I took the offer and started with the group the following week. Right away, I felt at home. Everyone in the group was very welcoming. Although I was one of the youngest members I could relate to everyone's stories. I knew I had made the right decision.
I am now finishing my 3rd week. I have already made progress. I feel like I have known these people all my life. It is hard waking up first thing in the morning when I'm used to sleeping in. Its also very difficult to talk about problems five days a week. Its both mentally and physically exhausting, but it feels good. Sometimes I get triggered by soemthing someone says or a topic that we are covering. After being triggered, recognizing this and sharing with others, I feel so much better. I am really hoping that I am able to use the 12 weeks well and am very optimistic.
I will give regular updates on my progress as time goes on. If anyone wants to talk ever, I am here. You can add me as a friens, message me, or whatever. I look forward to getting to know the community here.
A bit about myself as an introduction
I am writing these diary entries as it helps me a lot with coping, but also incase it will help anybody else who is wishing to relate or offer advice.
I suffer primarly from emetaphobia, panic disorder, panic attacks and anxiety disorder.
i also suffer from a type of social disorder, and ocd and other phobias such as needles.
I have been having help since the age of 6 and am developing to cope better with day to day life..
I have overcome anerexia, partly needles due to CBT, depression and small daily tasks i have been unable to do in the past such as public transport.
I am currently 21 years old and am completing a degree in university, i do not live at home but i am with my partner who is the most amazing person in the world and i love him dearly.
so this is a little about me
feel free to get in touch, i am more than happy to talk to people over chat :) and listen to anybody who would like to talk x
Welcome to part 2 of this unique blog series about tackling Emetophobia. One of the things that seems to be quite common with people suffering anxieties is they seem to have alot of mental turmoil about what is going on. It can seem you just don’t know what to do, do I do this, do I do that. So I guess it’s not surprising you can find yourself getting overwhelmed by it all. Being overwhelmed seems to stem from the fact that parts of you are pulling you in different directions. It’s like being on a crossroads, and part of you says turn left, and the other part says turn right.
So let’s look at something we can do to reduce this mental agitation we experience.
Before we do this process let’s just explain a little bit about how this works. The process is called Parts Therapy, and as the name suggests, it looks at the part of you that is holding onto your fear of being sick, and the other part of you that wants to be free from your fear of being sick. The part of you that holds onto your fear of being sick is known as the ‘Original Part’, and this part has a positive reason why it is holding onto the fear. The part of you that wants to be free from your fear of being sick is called the ‘Positive Part’. Great now we have set the basics down, let’s get stuck in...
Step 1: Take a few deep breaths and just get yourself into a relaxed state of hypnosis. Quickest way to do that is focus on taking some really strong deep breaths in and out. This is yoga style breathing, and by breathing deeply in expanding your whole chest, and then exhaling bringing your stomach inwards is a very good style of breathing to get used to.
Step 2: Think about the problem you have, in this case your fear of being sick. Notice how there is some agitation around the issue, part of you wants to hold onto this thought or issue, and the other part wants to be free from this issue. Just acknowledge that now..
Step 3: Silently ask the ‘Original Part’ of your belief ‘What are you trying to do to help me?’ Just keep asking that question and notice if an answer gets stirred up. Don’t force it, or agitate yourself here, we are just exploring what this belief is doing to help us. Ask the belief ‘What are you trying to do to help me??’ Just notice any response you get. That’s it..
Step 4: When you think you have some kind of answer, ask the ‘Positive Part’ that part of the belief that wants to move forwards, 3 things it could do to help solve the concern that the ‘Original Part’ came up with. Again, don’t get agitated by it, just have some fun and enjoy this journey of exploration.
Step 5: Check that the ‘Original Part’ is okay with the three things and that there is agreement there.
Step 6: When you are satisfied that the ‘Original Part’ is happy with the 3 new ways to solve the problem, then ask the ‘Original Part’ this question: ‘If you take on board these three new ways to solve this issue, will you leave me alone?’ See what comes up and just keep asking the same question until the ‘Original Part’ (That part that is holding onto the fear of being sick) is happy to leave you alone and let you move forward.
Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day wherever you are in the world.
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