I wanted to start off by saying that I hate the holidays. This time of the year is really difficult for me because I have a small family with alot of addictions, abuse, and loss. I lost both of my parents when I was 11 years old, so the holiday season is a harsh reminder of reality. Now that I'm 18, it has become stressful because many of my family members now expect me to step up and buy presents, host family parties, and drop all of my responsibilities to participate in christmas activities. Lately, this has made me stressed out and on edge. To make matters worse, the majority of my family does not understand anxiety and thinks that I just need to "get over it". They think that I'm doing this to myself, which is ridiculous. Who would put themselves through this?
About a month ago, my Dziadzie (grandfather) died. This has caused alot of tension in my family and alot of pressure on me. In my mind, he was the only connection I had to my mother's family, so in a way my family has gotten smaller and smaller. It's very hard going through this when you feel like you don't have anyone.
Any way, I have a family party to go to so I'll probably make another diary post when I get home.
bye guys xx
Health anxiety is one of those issues that can really affect how we operate and feel during the day. Anxiety can sometimes feel that you are trapped in a world where you try to escape your anxiety on one hand and yet feel overwhelmed by the anxiety on the other. With so much conflicting emotion running through us, it can be difficult to know how best to tackle all these thoughts and beliefs.
I can remember when I had social anxiety, it felt like it was this suffocating feeling mixed with thoughts and beliefs that just wouldn’t shift. It took many years and much hard work on my end to make any headway, and even then I didn’t really know what I was doing. It can almost seem like you are the only one who understands what you are going through, and other people just don’t seem to get what is happening to you.
One thing I learnt was that other people have little time for those that moan and complain the whole time, and far less time for those of us who have issues that most people don’t understand like anxiety. However fortunately I did find a way to get over my anxiety, and become the master of my emotions. The truth is you and I both have the ability to be the master of our emotions. Ironically, we decide how we feel. We decide whether to let that person cause us anxiety or not. How do I know this... Well answer this question: ‘Who does this anxiety belong to?’ ‘Who decides to keep this anxiety or let it go?’
As you can see you decide to keep thr anxiety and the anxiety belongs to you. When I first learnt this, it was as if a lightbulb went off. I finally understood at a vague level that this anxiety belonged to me. I had always up to that point assumed that it was caused by other people, that somehow other people caused my anxiety. Do you see the subtle difference here?
One way you can let go of your anxiety is realising that the anxiety belongs to you. For the rest of the week when you get anxiety, or feel anxious ask yourself ‘Who does this anxiety belong to?’ ‘Who decides to keep this anxiety or let it go?’ When you go through this then make that decision to let your anxiety go. In next weeks post, I’ll look at this further and show you how I tackle those out of control beliefs. Have a perfect week and I’ll catch you next week.
well its been about 3 months since my very first panic attack and my introduction into the world of anxiety. i want to go back but it seems to be hard. i recovered twice in the past 2 months or at least i thought i was recovering. the first time i thought it was over, i was so happy to be myself again and then things start to get bad again. hand numbness and tingling, i felt so disappointed in myself as if i let myself down. the anxiety came back but this time i was scared of having a disease. every little head pain worried me, every tingle, every numb sensation. my face, my arms, my hands and feet you name it. although ive seemed to get over the feeling of 'The fear of fear" (i think) i now have a new foe i have to combat against, its health anxiety. i didnt feel this way the 1st month and a half of having anxiety. i was just scared something with set off a panic attack, i hated the feeling i had in the pit of my stomach. now im worried im sick, mentally ill, tumors, multiple sclerosis, bell's palsy. yea ive been looking up way too much online and maybe i should stop. i guess my online research has evolved as well. from anxiety help to 'whats this a symptom of, whats that a symptom of?" and the many things that come up are almost overwhelming. i hope i really am okay, i hope i can get past this feeling too and even more so i hope the fear stays away.