When I graduated from High School in 2012, I thought that my life would get a whole lot better. For the most part, it really has. I got the opportunity to be a Radio DJ when I was 17 back in 2011, and two years into being in Radio, I got to interview Kip Winger, who is a guy that I used to idolize as a child. He told me that I gave him the best interview he ever had, and I felt like I had died and went to heaven when he said that to me. Then a year later, another dream came true. I got to interview Mick Foley, Three-Time WWE Champion and Pro Wrestling Legend. Even though the interview didn't really go as I liked it to go, I got to interview a guy that I grew up watching on Monday Night RAW and SmackDown, and a guy who had been to the mountiantop in Pro Wrestling, WWE. Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to do one thing and one thing only with my life, be in the Pro Wrestling Business, let alone WWE. In 2006, when I was 12, I joined YouTube and a year later, I began doing videos where I gave my opinion on certian things that happened in the Wrestling Business. I became well-known in grade and high school as the guy to go to for everything Pro Wrestling. I was the guy to go to for the inside info, who the champions was, the match outcomes, I was Pro Wrestling.
In 2015, I joined a Classic Rock Station in my Hometown and started my show called Flashback Fridays. It wasn't long before my hometown fell in love with me and my show. I felt like I was on top of the world because I was finally famous, in a small town. Shortly after Flashback Fridays was created, I began to do what I used to do on YouTube, talking Pro Wrestling. I play my music and then before the end of the program, I talk Pro Wrestling News and Rumors and give my opinion on it, like how I did YouTube. The next thing I know, I get a message from a guy that works at the local television station in my hometown. He, like me, is a big Pro Wrestling fan, and he invited me to be on his online Pro Wrestling show to discuss WWE Extreme Rules 2016. I accepted, done the podcast, and felt as though I completed a major step in achieving my lifelong dream. Then, around Thanksgiving Season, it began to get real.
I recieved another message from the guy from the local television station. This time, he invited me to be apart of a new Pro Wrestling Promotion that started in my hometown, and wanted me to commentate wrestling with him. I had to take it in, I couldn't believe it. Finally, after a decade of digging and clawing and dreaming, I had got my foot in the door. I made it. I was scheduled to make my debut on December 10. Five years ago on that date, I made my debut in Radio. It felt right.
I arrived at the arena at 11:30 in the morning and helped set up the ring and hand out tickets during a Christmas Parade. I was so happy and excited because I knew I was paying my dues. Then it was showtime. I was told that I would be ringing the bell, announcing the winners/time elapsed in matches, and playing entrance music. I had an issue with one wrestler of 20+ years who talked about me backstage pretty badly because I didn't ring the bell loud enough and because I played his entrance music after he won, even though I was told to play it. Shortly after that incident, I helped take down the ring and the promoter told me to come back. I felt as though everything was working out and I was on my path to being successful in Pro Wrestling. That was until a week or two later, when I had this conversation with the promoter:
Promoter: U need to get your license
Me:That's the truth man, how do I get it? Do I apply online or do I have to fill out a form?
Promoter:Online send u link tomorrow Headed to bed later
Me:Oh okay man that sounds good, talk to you later man. If you watch WWE and was able to catch RAW, let me know what happened on it tomorrow because I couldn't watch it tonight
Promoter:Bro I don't watch that garbage
Me:It's all good man, it's been on a downhill slide for awhile, but they do have some fo the indie guys like Owens, Rollins, and Ambrose. You should watch New Japan when you get the chance, they're the best out there right now
Promoter:Bro litttle advice don't tell anyone u watch it or keep up with actual workers and old timers u meet will have no respect for u
Me:Thanks man, I know that to defiantly be true. There's a lot of people in the business that hates Vince with a passion. He did take down the territories and that was pretty shitty that he done that. I watched a lot of WCW growing up and WCW before 2000 was awesome.
Shortly after that conversation, I thought it was pretty strange that he would say that to me. That if I keep up with WWE and if people were to find out that I kept up with it, they would lose respect for me. Which I later found out to be a big lie. Later on that day, I announced to my follwers and friends that a Tag Team in the WWE called American Alpha had became the SmackDown Tag Team Champions. Shortly after I got the word out, I get another message from the promoter, below is the conversation:
Promoter:Quit posting WWE posts
Me:Sorry about that man
Promoter:Listen reason is. It has nuttin to do with Vince. But if you're in the business u can no longer act like a fan. The wwe is now full of your peers not. Ppl to idealize. If you at like a fan then be a fan. Get what I mean
Me:Okay, I get what you're saying now. Now that I'm in the business, it's a whole new ballgame and it's a sacred thing. I guess where I've been a fan so long it's hard to forget that I'm in it now. It will pass and I'll adapt to it.
Promoter:Who's the worst nba team
Me:I think right now it's still the 76ers
Me:Yeah it's Philly, they're 7-23
Promoter:Do u think that 12th man on the 76ers bench. Watches and follows lbj. Buys his jersey and tweets about how great he is
Me:They're all wanting to be better than lbj.
Promoter:Because they are his what I'm the business
Me:That's right man, just like in wrestling, everybody in sports wants to be the best. A lot will not reach the best, only the ones who have the mentality hunger and drive can make it there
Promoter:Yep. U also need help from old timers. Every time you act like a mark you shit on the old timers. They loose respect for you and won't help u
Me:That is totally the truth. I'm not a mark or a smark by all means. I really fucking love this business. It's what I want to do for the rest of my life. I will never shit on it my man. I know what you mean there. I was friends with a veteran in wrestling, but he passed away six years ago. His name was Jim White, he was the man
Promoter:Yeah I was at his funeral
Promoter:And there's no such thing as a snark
Me:I'm sorry about that. Jim was an awesome guy, I wish I would have got to know him better. The smark thing is a myth?
Promoter:Yep can't be smart to something and be a mark at the same time
Me:I never really thought about that before man
Shortly after this conversation, I told a friend of mine that works at another promotion and he was pissed. He couldn't believe that he said that. I then told him that I would be leaving this promotion for the one that he is at and he said that his promoter would be honored to have me. Sadly, I am unable to make it to any of the shows at the other promotion because I am 22 going on 23 with no Driver's Liscense, My mom's truck is a V8 and loves to guzzle gas, and plus my work schedule usually gets overloaded. I talked to another friend of mine that wrestled for 18 years that lives in Indiana and he told me that everything the promoter was saying to me wasn't true because he had been in the locker rooms at shows where former wrestling stars would be at and all the wrestlers would be lined up to shake their hand, and get pictures/autographs. He also told me that if I want to be succesful in this business, to leave the current promotion for the one that my friend works at. So that's what I done.
2017 has already turned into the worst year of my life, and I thought last year was. We're not even a month in and My Dog of 15 years passes away, My Grandfather gets put in the hospital for pneumonia in his right lung, My mother gets sick with a fever, I'm not in good standing with the Classic Rock station that my show is broadcasted at, I'm in danger of being wrote up/fired at work, I haven't dated anyone since I was a Senior in High School and I'm almost 23 and still a virgin, One of my best friends just left work for another job, and now to top it all off, my friend from the other promotion decided to work for the promotion that I was at and took a photo with the promoter that said all those things to me and I know now that I can't and probably will never be able to make it in Pro Wrestling. The dream that I have had since I was a kid might not come true because of that asshole of a promoter. Why would I be directed to bust my ass for a decade just to be told I can't make it anymore? Just to be stopped at a dead end? There has to be something more, but I don't know what. I'm really at the end of my rope now. Everything that could go wrong in my life is going wrong, and now I feel like and I fear that I'll be stuck working my shitty job while everybody else enjoys the fruits of life. I just hope that God can get me out of this deep valley that I'm in, and help me reach the top of the mountian again.
Well, I am new to this website and I am not too sure how it works but I am hoping it will help. I have been through a lot as a young adult and at this point in my life it has created overwhelming anxiety and setbacks.
When I was 10 I was diagnosed with cancer and although my treatment was fast I suffered severe PTSD that went untreated for many years. This is still an issue with me and one of the reasons my anxiety has gotten so bad. I am so afraid of dying that literally anything can set me off, even the word 'death.'
I also suffered an assault when I was 15 and this has created a lot of fear in my life...
I am hoping to meet some people here that will understand what I am going through and can help me on my path to recovery.