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gderle2015

gderle2015

Saturday, 07 February 2015 01:02

Over 2 months

Moving forward over the 2 month mark and taking 50mg of Zoloft.  Now sometimes I feel a little strange, kinda in a dream state but it doesn't last long and if I take a .25 Xanax than I'm good in 20 minutes.  I am impressed over all about my mood and getting things done.  I'm much more motivated and its been tough to run as much as I would like in the winter.  This has given me hope and I look forward to see how much I can get done now that anxiety is not running my life.  After getting both those tumors out I never thought I would end up with the hope I now have.  It has been awhile but I'm looking forward to what the future will bring and what I have already got done!  Till next month, stay positive and believe in hope and that you can get better!! 

 

Saturday, 03 January 2015 20:29

Happy New Year 2015

It's been about 5 weeks and I notice my mood much more stable and able to control anxiety.  Finally realizing a lot is just made up in your head and getting a grip on panic attacks can be possible.  I'm still doing the health life style and looking and feeling better ever week.  After two months I may go up to 50mg but will see if I really need xanax anymore at that time!  It is nice to see things heading in the right direction and staying focus on feeling better is key!  Good luck out there and stay positive!  :)

 

Wednesday, 10 December 2014 19:19

Moving along and enjoying it!

So I have one week down and actually feeling pretty good about this whole thing.  I haven't believed in any of the recovery methods or medications but this seems to be helping quit a bit.  I have noticed some different sleeping patterns and some usually feelings, but compared to a full blown anxiety attack that is nothing.  I will continue with this as well as working out and eating right to see how this effects me. 

Thursday, 04 December 2014 22:41

Giving it a try

I have had a great week and it has been awhile.  The past two years have really been hard, but things are starting to swing in the right direction.  I met with my doctor today land he thinks 25mg of Zoloft will really be the drug to help me actually beat this anxiety thing.  Today is day one so I will continue to update my diary on my progress.  I hoping with this and my healthy lifestyle it will really start to make a big difference in my life.  

 

Stay postive people! 

Sunday, 30 November 2014 15:28

This is life

 It all started eighteen years ago and life has not been the same since.  I was diagnosed with my first case of hyperparathyroidism which was actually a relief considering it took me nine months to figure something was actually wrong with me.  I went to several doctors and at least five different specialist and they all said it was stress and it was life.  They were all wrong, not their fault but they seemed it was better to label it as something instead of not knowing.  After more test they confirmed the tumor and removed it.  It was a quick surgery and I was out of the hospital in two days.  The main problem besides the tumor was the extreme intense anxiety attacks I have been having.  I never knew something like that was possible.  That feeling was so powerful and I never felt that scared and helpless.  

The doctors told me that I didn't need medicine and I would slowely go back to feeling myself.  It took about 2 years from the time of my first panic attack to get to my surgery.  After surgery it was slow but I slowely started to feel a little better.  It just about ruined my baseball career and almost my drumming career.  The one thing about playing in a band was I could drink during shows which would completly eliminate any panic.  Which of course can be problem down the road which it eventually did.  After another eight years I started to feel the anxiety getting stronger once again, except this time I was living out in California.  So know I have a whole new set of doctors telling me I'm just a little crazy.

 Even after telling them about my first tumor and getting my blood work back they still blew me off and put me on xanax.  Good old california,  just take a pill or smoke something to take the edge off.  My calcium was once again high just like the first time and I knew this was not good.  So I tried the xanax and it actually worked pretty well most of the time.  Anyway I went back home to the east coast and decided to check in with my old doctor and he checked my blood and he knew with in days that I had another tumor on the same side of my thyroid.

 I was now thirty years old and started to think this was going to happen every ten years until I ran out of parathyroids or died.  The surgery was quick again and I recovered even faster this time.  The problem still remained with the anxiety attacks, even though drinking and xanax could pretty much get me through any situation.  Was not happy that I had to now live this way.  Since then I still use xanax as a clutch in my life but I don't abuse it.  I quit drinking, run 3-5 miles almost everyday and eat pretty healthy.  I have also reached out to a few therapist and they said that unfortunately the hyperparathyroidism open up a doorway in my mind that has caused my anxiety attacks.

 So I have been taught different breathing and working on meditating but still looking to get a better grip on my anxiety.  I guess that's why I'm here, to seek advice, and hopefully able to help any other people out there with this problem.  

 

 

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