I've known you for a really long time now and I have to tell you that I really hate the way you make me feel. I definitely respect the power that you hold but I'm here to tell you that I can't see you as much as I have in the past. It's really time for both of us to move on. Don't be sad, I'm sure that you'll still come and visit but it really has to be on a more limited basis from now on. You see, I've met someone named Happiness and I really like them and how they make me feel. I lose touch with Happiness here and there but I'm going to keep looking for them which means I have to spend less time with you. I've wanted to say this for a long time but finally had the courage to actually say something. Well, take care of yourself and I'm sure you'll be fine because there's more out there for you to see.
Best of luck and remember: Don't call me, I'll call you,
Ok so this is just a small example of what we can do but I honestly think it helps. If I have to write a thousand letters before I feel better, I will do that and I think you would too. It doesn't have to just be a letter to your issue. Write a letter to your family who may not understand the issues you are going through. You don't have to send it to them. Just the fact that you WROTE your feelings down can have a powerful impact. It's something that all of us can control so why not do it? I'll probably have to write this same letter tomorrow and I'll even have days when I don't want to write at all but just know that it is something that we can try to help make things better. Isn't that what we all want?
So, I've dealt with anxiety for the better part of my life and for a long time, I really felt like it was defining who I was as a person. I was dead wrong. Anxiety and the problems that are associated with it are simply one of my deficits and you know what? That's ok. It's really no different than me looking at my having fair skin as a deficit or a disadvantage because I get sunburns easily.
All I do to deal with it is use sunscreen, problem solved! Now comparing a sunburn to having an anxiety attack is REALLY dumbing it down but the principle is the same isn't it? With anxiety, we try several different coping mechanisms and some work and some don't but we still try. It's why we're here trying to get in touch with other people with the same issues so we can talk about it.
I say all of this knowing that I don't always feel this way because my anxiety does feel like it consumes me at times but at the end of the day, this is not who I am. Anxiety cannot beat me no matter how hard it tries because I'm still here and if you're reading this, I'm pretty sure you're still here too. Still here fighting every day to make our lives as good as we can with a common goal: to be happy.
I challenge each and every one of you with anxiety problems to look in the mirror and speak directly to your anxiety and simply say, "You cannot beat me". We're better than that. We're actually normal believe it or not. It took me a long time to figure that out and I might need your supporting words at times when I'm weak but I'll be strong enough to ask for them. I believe in all of you as I hope you believe in me that we can make sure that this does not rule us. It's simply just one of those things we have to deal with......and that is ok.
Take the Day off from Anxiety
Sounds great doesn't it? My idea with this is instead of trying to solve all of our issues as the big picture, let just tackle today. I am declaring that today, I am taking a break from my anxiety and depression because I need a vacation from it. It won't be easy but I think it's a step in the right direction. Who wants to join me?
I am deciding to really enjoy my coffee this morning, to write my diary entry and feel good about it, I'm going to have a great day at work....everyone else can have a bad day if they'd like but it's not going to affect me. I'm going to blast my favorite music in my car and when I get home today, I'm going to really enjoy my kids and PLAY with them. Not just go through the motions. I might relax this evening and have a fire and a really nice glass of wine and read my book. Things that feed my soul. Who wants to join me?
I'm going to go to bed tonight and sleep really well for the first time in a long time. Who wants to join me? (Uhh, not in bed, just the taking the day off part).
Maybe it will feel so good that we'll try to do it again tomorrow. Maybe not....but wouldn't we all like to start with just one day?
Who wants to join me?
Yea, I'm pretty sure if I could just stop worrying and relax (We'll call this the SWAR), I probably wouldn't be searching out sites like this in order to try and help myself deal with my anxiety.
So, pick your typical response in this situation:
A) I know, I know
B) I wish it was that easy
C) Gee, you're right! Why didn't I think of that??
D) [email protected]#K You!
It's really not their fault. They simply just don't understand and guess what? We're not weak because we feel this way. I say this knowing full well that I feel severely weak when I have my daily anxiety attacks and I can give the best advice in the world but can't seem to take it for myself all of the time. Do we educate these people who seem to have absolutely everything under control? Hmm, great question. I don't personally care as much about that as I do getting better and helping other people know that they are not alone.