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peacejude

peacejude

Wednesday, 18 May 2016 17:58

Things are difficult some days

I'm feeling pretty useless since school has ended. I have no job and my kids are still in their schools. I feel like I should be doing something productive. Also starting to doubt the whole change of career thing. I am happy to be working towards my goals but afraid i'm making a mistake at the same time. Trying to look at the postive and focus on my goals. But it is hard today

Friday, 13 May 2016 18:05

Friday the 13th

Thursday, 07 April 2016 00:35

past to now

Nine years later , I finally can see the light. I feel like over time I have been in a tunnel so dark. I simply moved to work because I had to. I moved to care for my children because I had to. I had no idea of how lost I was. I turned to no one and recived no meditical attention. But yet the time was so dark and forgotten. Can one suffer in silence and not realize it? I kept busy to avoid thoughts. I know this now. Today my life seems so much meaningful. I still get feelings of saddness, jealously, anxiety. But the difference is I'm able to look past that. The future is bright. For the first time I have meaning. I'm not just simply moving. I'm moving with purpose with hope. There is a end. At the end is also the beginning. 

Monday, 06 July 2015 20:22

I can breathe

I seem to do be doing loads better. I have a lot of changes coming up and I'm taking it one day at a time. Breathing And Yoga have helped!

 

Monday, 19 August 2013 19:08

shopping

I was shopping for my mother birthday present today and I felt like there were so many descions to make it made me physical sick. I started to get hot and nauseas. I just wanted to stop and go home. My mind seems to be getting worse. I journal, do art, yoga, anything to calm the mind. But I still feel sick.

Saturday, 03 August 2013 23:43

change

i feel like i deal with anxiety with work and daily life that i haven't paid much attention to my husband . We had a fight last night. So now i feel like there may be aniety in the home. Everything seems to be building up. I wish it could go back the way it was. I know anxiety was aways with me just not as bad. It just goes back in forth. Like in cycles. I did some art today and that felt nice. It's been awhile so i would like to keep that up. I haven't exercise like i used to. I hope to start that again but it has been hard to do that. Sometimes i just think it's my personality and no one will truely understand. 

Friday, 02 August 2013 13:17

Dentist office

I had so much anxiety sitting in the dentist office waiting room yesterday it was painful. It was only xray work and a cleaning. But eventually i have to get a tooth fixed. If felt like i was in the waiting room forever. I was sick to my stomach, i kept messing with my phone trying to keep my mind off of the waiting but it wasn't very helpful.  When i was little i went to the dentist a lot. I remember hearing a little girl screaming next door before it was my turn to go in. Every since then it's been hard for me. Luckly there was some confusion with my insurance so i had to reschedule for next week. So next week i hope to prepare myself a little more. I was relieved when she said this. 

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