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suicide

  • How do I cope with having a suicidal friend?

    My closest friend suffers from intense depression, and is dangerously close to suicide. She has been committed to one of those urgent care hospitals for people in danger of suicide once before, was released, and has only worsened since then. I do my best to listen to her, talk openly about her feelings, let her know she's loved and appreciated, watch out for her physical well-being; I've done everything I can think and then some to be a supportive friend as much as I'm able, without going overboard and putting my own life and needs in jeopardy. My question for you all is, what are ways I can try to cope with knowing my best friend may die at any time? I suffer from anxiety, myself, and experience it mostly through feelings of guilt over even small things. I know that I'm in danger of feeling guilty or like it's my fault if she does take her life. I try not to panic when I think about the reality of the situation, but it's very hard to stay strong about this. Ultimately, I can't control what she does, and I'm trying to accept this and stay calm. When I was in high school, my mother passed away from breast cancer, and I've had 10+ years to accept that and grieve. I hope that this is able to help me, if the worst comes to pass. Thoughts?
  • I'm feeling suicidal can't seem to solve nothing

    Even though I don't want to kill myself but my problems aren't going to be solved so I'm feeling suicidal I'm feeling suicidal because I can't seem to solve my problems with this extreme social and anxiety issues I'm a man and it seems not so promising anymore it's been like this since 2008 since I started thinking more like a adult and now I'm 22 but about to turn 23 on June 15th I don't have any friends girlfriends I'm so lonely I can't seem to keep a job without feeling uncomfortable I think about what people says and it causes mild paranoia I really don't know what to do kinda getting depressing and tiring because I'm fighting to be normal yet I continue to lose and I don't want to keep pushing through life just to fail over and over again.
  • if i check into a mental hospital, will i have to redo this school year? (junior)

    if i check into a mental hospital right now, with less than a month of school left, will i have to redo this (junior) year? it won't help me do anything but escape from my family. with my evil brother (and i'm not being immature, he actually physically and mentally abuses me constantly) home from college for the summer, i can't stay here.
  • What is the best way to deal with extreme anxiety?

    I've had anxiety and OCD since I was thirteen (I'm 22 now) but I didn't start having panic attacks until I was around nineteen. Since then, I have been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and my anxiety has reached an all time high. The anxiety is always there but it gets really bad at around noon and doesn't start to get better until four so for those few hours I am in utter hell. My palms and feet get incredibly sweaty and I have a sensation of pins and needles stabbing me all over my body. My body shakes and the feeling just gets worse. Suicidal thoughts come to my mind, not because I want to die but because I want relief from this unbearable agony. I take .5mg of Klonopin (Clonazepam) twice a day but I feel like I need something much stronger. I will have to talk to my doctor about this obviously but my question is, what is the best way to fight this anxiety? I know everyone reacts differently to different medication but does anyone get any relief from a certain medicine that you can take when you get panic attacks or really bad anxiety? What are your thoughts? Much thanks! :)
  • Where do i go from here? (after suicide attempt)

    So I probably shouldn't say this online, but I've got no where else to turn? Trigger warning, I'm about to go into detail of a suicide attempt. You have been warned. I tried to kill myself three times in two days. First time I swallowed a bunch of pills. half a bottle of expired Ibuprofen tablets, some children's pain meds that were expired but still worked, and a bunch of un opened single pill tablets with no labels. All things you wouldn't miss if you looked through the cabinet. I woke up the next day not feeling even remotely sick, went out to the railroad tracks with the intent to jump in front of the train, but ended up getting too scared of the loud sounds it made and froze in place both times the train passed, gave up, went home, drank some iced tea, and started cleaning the house out of guilt before throwing up everywhere (I hadn't eaten anything, it was hot out and the rails are a ways away, so it might've just been from drinking something cold after that). That night I took an entire, new, unopened bottle, of Ibuprofen, and an extra eight tablets from an already open bottle. I then took a swig of Pepto-Bismol in hopes that I wouldn't throw up if I took it, and then took a swig of Nyquil in hopes that it would make me fall asleep. Neither of these things worked. I was up all night, and threw up the entire next day. It was mostly bile from my abused liver, but either way it didn't work. My little cousins came over to hang out because it WAS MY MY COUSIN'S BIRTHDAY. I was so guilty that I almost made her birthday my death day. I felt like such a bad family member, because I am. I'm a bad role model, and a bad person. The whole time they were there, the younger ones just compared me to a vampire because their mother keeps calling me that when i'm not around. (Because I never leave the house, I sleep during the day and am awake all night) My aunt is trying to be nice, but I know she thinks i'm just a lazy piece of garbage. Only the younger children could tell I was acting strange that day. one of them even said I looked depressed. I felt bad for making them worried, and made excuses to go outside while they had cake. I went to sleep that night but couldn't sleep. I stayed awake the whole last night, and when I woke up, I went to turn in yet another application for work. This time I went to a really cute doggy daycare. Their application asked for a lot of professional references, which I didn't have, but I wrote a compelling argument, and made a good first impression by holding the doors open for some employees and some really sweet elderly people with the cutest dogs. I sang a really happy song on the way back. I collected feathers and flowers on the side of the road, which I would normally feel stupid doing. I felt so... different. I felt like I wasn't myself. I felt happy. Tomorrow is mother's day. I don't want to make my mom sad on mother's day. We're supposed to go to my aunt's house on her side of the family but they're the most judgmental side of the family. I'm feeling relatively okay right now, but if I go over there and they ask me snidely why I don't have a job still... I know i'll relapse. Do I want to relapse? Does it count as relapsing even after such a short time from the last try? I don't even know. I don't know where to go from here. I don't know why things feel so bright right now... It's weird. I have no idea what I should do, but i'm going to try to bake cookies or brownies for tomorrow. any advice would be helpful. And please don't be too judgmental, I don't know if I can take it.

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