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What's wrong with me?

I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember, since I was about 5 years old. However, in the past few years I have been getting very weird symptoms that just don't relate to anxiety. I have suicide thoughts sometimes, like for days I feel so depressed I don't even want to get out of bed or be spoken to, but other times I'm so happy I can't contain myself. Yesterday I was so unhappy and I slept early because I felt so emotionally drained but all today I have had this burst of energy like I can't contain myself and I do everything suddenly and speedily and I can't think straight and I feel so hyper. I can't keep still. I'm typing so fast I have to keep editing my words because I keep getting them wrong. I have breakdowns, like, bad breakdowns, that started in high school. They feel like stress that's built up just forcing itself out. I know that it's not just anxiety, it's got to be something else because why would I have all these feelings and breakdowns from anxiety? I'm too scared to tell anyone because I'm not a talk-about-your-feelings kind of person, but I'm getting kind of scared and I don't know how to control myself.
Category: Advice 2 years ago
emilyjayneyhill
Asked 2 years ago

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Hello, it sounds like you anxiety is just manifesting itself in new ways. I am not a specialist but it may be from suffering for so many years it's starting to take on new symptoms. But nothing is wrong with you, you shouldn't feel like somethings wrong with you, it's hard sometimes just keep pushing. Have you talked with a doctor about the new symptoms? I hope you make peace with this feeling. but please feel free to message me if you ever need support!
justrey
Answered 2 years ago
justrey

Hi emilyjayneyhill. It is normal to have good days and bad days. One of the reasons I am practically a recluse is I got tired of people expecting me to be happy every day. They could not understand the days when I cannot smile and pretend when I was just happy yesterday. I was reading your words though and and imagining how hard it must be on you. The way you described your mood swings sound so familiar. Anxiety for me is feeling scared and paranoid about who is judging and watching, rejecting me or accepting me - all the time. Depression for me feels like a hollow feeling where my happiness should. It has been a long time since I have felt real joy. The way you described your mood swings sound so familiar. Are your mood swings back to back - like you feel hyper and jittery, your emotions are either at a 10, the top of the scale, or a zero, the bottom. And it feels extreme? Because I was wondering if you were ever diagnosed with bipolar. It sounds similar. Either way, nothing is wrong with you. We have problems, but we ourselves are not a problem. I could be way off since I am no professional. but if it sounds close and you still believe this is not regular anxiety - here is a little info so you can compare your feelings [http://www.healthline.com/health/could-it-be-bipolar-seven-signs-to-look-for] I hope you feel better.
Artemiss
Answered 2 years ago
Artemiss

Hi Emily, I have just joined this site and reading about other peoples problems is making me feel better just knowing that it is not just me that feels the way I do. A lot of the time I feel like something is wrong with me but I now know it is now really me and it is just things in life that have caused a chemical change in my brain that makes me have anxiety. Saying that, I still have anxiety and have no idea how to get rid of it. I am also the type of person that doesn't like sharing my emotions and it took years before I told my parents but believe me when I say it helps sharing your problems. You have started the sharing by doing it on here. Hope this helps
wadavie
Answered 2 years ago
wadavie

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