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I feel detached, Spaced out, Extremely weird ALL THE TIME, and developing OCD?

Hello, my name is Andrew. I am only 15 (almost about 16, birthday coming up) and I have been experiencing this... Mental issue, for some time. There are TWO types of problems I want to cover. This first erupted around June 2014. My family got some sort of stomach virus or got food poisoning except me and my mother, this REALLY put some fright into me. This caused a fear of mine to become more than just a normal fear. When my family got sick, I avoided them as much as possible. I secluded myself in my room to stay away from them and to make sure I did not get sick as the fear I was and still am experiencing is vomiting. I can't really explain why I fear or hate it. I just do. The thought of me vomiting was not really a big deal a long time ago, but now it is far more serious. The current thought of me vomiting triggers constant worry about what I eat, what I eat out of, what I drink, What I drink out of or from, what I touch, what breathe in, and or whatever I even put into my body. I cant stop worrying. This also triggers constant paranoia and sometimes anxiety. The anxiety was REALLY BAD at first. I seem to have developed OCD, for germs especially. I don't really care if my room or if the house looks or is a mess. Just things that could get me sick if not clean or clear such as a glass cup, if it is not clean or is spotty from water or soap residue I will clean it my self and probably waste a lot of hot water cleansing a cup that I am going to use for 30 seconds. I will NOT eat anything unless I check the expiration date first. If it is a day over or a day before expiration, I will NOT eat it. Anything that doesn't have a expiration date on it, I will mostly avoid eating or ingesting it. I have lost weight (around 20+ pounds or lbs) because of this. At first I was just never really hungry because I had no appetite and because I could get sick (Only a bit though), but now it's always because I always think that it could or can make me sick. This is only half my problem.

Another problem I have is some weird feeling I get. I can't really put my finger on it. When I am at home or in public, I feel very detached, spaced out, or just... weird and strange. This is constant. I cant take it. This started a bit after the stomach issue and anxiety issue occurrence. I first wouldn't leave my room or even my bed. I was having full blown depression, on the verge of suicide. I wouldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. Just lay there waiting to die. I am trying my best to get over this, I am doing better than I was when THIS started. The only thing stopping me is... well... some sort of mental block? I don't know, I seem to also worry about hanging out with friends, going outside, or doing any type of activity that requires leaving my house. There is so much I WANT to do. I want to get into a couple activities, but I keep worrying about getting sick or having anxiety attack right there on the spot. One part of me says "Go do it, you want to do it so just do it!", but the other part of me says "What if this? What if that? Maybe this will happen! You shouldn't do it if this or that!", and one very small part of me says "Don't even think about it, go and do it. Why do you think so much just GO! You will be fine". One thing I ask is. Will I be alright? Is this just a weird thing? (Cant really explain it better than "weird thing") I also feel like I am all alone on this now, I think that my family no longer supports me as I see I am getting punished for feeling like this. I get yelled at for feeling like this and or even defending myself on this matter. I don't want to explain this feeling as this is kinda eye watering for me to talk, type, or write about.

Please help. I don't want to experience this anymore, I cannot take or deal with this anymore, how do I go about solving this or healing this??? What do I do? Help!

EDIT: I also think Depersonalization and or "Brain Fog" has something to do with this...
Category: Anxiety 5 years ago
CantTakeIt
Asked 5 years ago

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From what I've read about anxiety, phobias & OCD it sounds like you are experiencing a bit of everything with one issue feeding off of another. Your attitude of "just go do it" is a good one to have. The more you face things head on the easier it becomes. Start with your doctor & go from there. Perhaps you can get into therapy. It really helps to talk it out with someone who is knowledgeable. There really is a phobia about vomiting; I came across it when I was researching my own phobia. Best of luck to you.
karenz
Answered 5 years ago
karenz

Hi! I have suffered from depersonalization since I was 8 years old, I'm 32 now :) I was on zoloft for 10 years and on Paxil for 1. I am now in the process of weaning myself off of Paxil with a psychiatrists help. But anyway, you are not alone. No way. There are TONS of us that have the same feelings you do so don't ever beat yourself up about it. What happens to me when I go through my "attacks" is that I feel like I'm in the Matrix. This analogy is the best way to describe my feelings for people who don't know. I feel like everything is fake. Like I'm in a video game and I'm going to wake up any minute where I truly belong. My harshest episode was when I was 18 and all I would say was, "Is this real?" "Am I real?" . I looked like a living zombie and all I wanted to do was sleep all day so I didn't have to feel anything horrible. Nevertheless, after seeing numerous doctors and them not knowing what was wrong with me, I found a psychiatrist that said I had panic/anxiety disorder. I was chemically imbalanced. The zoloft helped tremendously. I hope you're able to speak to your family about getting some help. A therapist and psychiatrist. Remember that you are stronger than whatever negative feelings and situations you're going through. You are not alone.
Gwen1113
Answered 5 years ago
Gwen1113

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