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I am going to the doctor today and I have never had so much anxiety in my life, which triggered a depression. This has been going on for a week. I had back problems that caused me not to sleep and one night I just was fearing to sleep. Now I have thoughts of death, just thinking I have some kind of deadly illness. I also have bad thoughts (like I won't be normal, something bad is going to happen to me, or something terrible has already happened to me.) I think thoughts such as I will be hurt in the future and I think things like I was sexually abused as a child but I talk about it. And nothing comes to mind. When I have my "lucid" moments Everything I have thought when I was anxious seem so insane for me to go there. Am I the only one who has these thoughts? I don't if it comes from my fear of being sexually abused since I know many women who have dealt who rape or being abused as a child and I always feel like it will happen or it already has. Is this common? Or have I truly repressed a memory and this is why I think this. I don't always think this, its usually when I feel anxious. Whenever I have felt anxious I think about death or something abusive has happened to me or will happen. I think of having fatal illness. I feel numb lately as well. When It get bass I feel like am I really here. And I always think of the deeper mean of the world. Please help anyone.I have always been a strong person and never have I dealt with depression or serve anxiety before. It just happened this week and I am so afraid. I am feel afraid of everything. I am afraid now to have kids, or the future, or everything. I am literally living day by day. I need help. Please help.
Category: Anxiety 5 years ago
Anjelica92
Asked 5 years ago

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Don't worry, you're not alone. I've had moments like that as well jumping from my lucid self to suddenly becoming this frantic, scared, confused and irrational version of myself. These thoughts that are intrusive right now are your fears manifesting themselves, not reality. From my experience, the best thing you can do for yourself, being new to these emotions is to accept and acknowledge the fact that you are having these thoughts without accepting the content of them. This can give you more clarity on separating truth from fiction, and help you approach your fears more objectively from a bird's eye view. It took me a long time to figure this out and it's not full proof but it really helped me once I mastered it.
LittleBird
Answered 5 years ago
LittleBird

I agree, you are not alone! I don't know if it matters what the cause is, as what you say is spot on for me without me having any sexual abuse. I too get thoughts that I must have some bad disease and get nervous about going to the doctor and finding out something is horribly wrong. Then I imagine from that point on and how it will affect me and my family and omg, I can almost not breathe! With you, it could be actually from PTSD. You are lucky it's only been a week as I have struggled with this for years and it makes it very hard to imagine is never going away. I like LittleBird's advice and am trying to wrap my brain around it.
hopefulgal
Answered 5 years ago
hopefulgal

You are definitely not alone! I used to wonder if I had been sexually abused and hoped it would come out in one of my many therapy sessions because then I could begin to understand why I felt so screwed up all the time. I've learned through therapy to "stay in the moment" better because when I start thinking about my past, all the mistakes I've made, time wasted,etc. or the future - will I get this new job, how am I going to pay my bills, "Oh, my God I'm going to be homeless, etc. I know I'm making myself crazy. I'll keep it short tonight 'cause I don't feel like I'm expressing myself very well. My schedule was completely turned around this morning and even little things like that take a toll on me and I don't feel as grounded. So keep coming back and sharing. You are in the right place!
searching for peace
Answered 5 years ago
searching for peace

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