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I have escaped an abusive childhood and now I am afraid of doing things on my own. I really want to go the cinema on my own, I have no friends or family but the primary reason is to allow myself to do things which I wasn't allowed to do and stop being afraid of what other think but I can't seem to stop thinking of how other would perceive it or if they will judge me like my parents - I have read on-line that it is weird and not normal but some say it is good because you pay for it and you can watch without interruptions. I keep thinking people are like my parents - analysing my every move and judging me. I want to discover new things and go places by myself but I can't because I don't want people to see me. How do I manage this feeling ? I am fine once I leave the house but it is having the courage and mental strength to convince myself to leave the house that is the problem and also I scratch myself if I am nervous and shy and I keep my head low but that makes me look weird and pathetic.