I'm suffering from a breakdown in communication, a gap in knowledge. I've been described as shy, but I don't agree with that. I enjoy talking with people, but most of the time I can't, I don't know why, but I can't. I've never learned to drive, because I can't. I can't do many things, just because I can't. This has always bothered me, but I've never had the words to explain myself. Many times my brother has begged me to do something, and even if I want to, I can't. He'd plead for explanation. All I'd be able to muster, "I can't". My body would shuts down, and I cry uncontrollably.
I remember my psychiatrist asking me if I had anxiety, and I said no. That was about 6 years ago. I remember describing an inexplicable feeling, that I've always felt. I described it as resentment without direction. I know the word anxiety, I could describe it to you. I remember reading about it on Wikipedia. But for some unknown reason, I was unable to connect the dots. I feel so foolish it's painful.
But, now that I know that I have anxiety, I can get some help.
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