Have you ever felt alone, while being in the middle of a crowd?
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The answer is yes. I have this thing that when I walk into a room, I pan out everything, and know where everything is before I make a full entry. But even when I mingle with others, I feel invisible. Not that I want to be the life of the party, because that is just not me. But I feel like maybe I was just politely invited, but not really expected to show up, if that makes sense.
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Yes, many times. I can recall being at a pub on New Years Eve and feeling very isolated. I went home at 12.30am dejected and sad, got inside my house and lost the plot, i became a big emotional ball of goo for the rest of the day.
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Hi, who do you see when you look in the mirror? Take your time to process it. Keep an open mind while looking at yourself. How long can you go without getting a thought?
Take any adult in the world, place them in front of a mirror, who they see depends on confidence, pride, dignity, self-esteem, values, principle, and morals.
My brain didn't give me the ability to think on a high level of reasoning. Like a two year old, I did what ever it took to satisfy a curiousity. Now, had I the ability to reason like you and millions of others in the world, I would still be living at home with my parents at age 50, not wanting to be around other people.
Thus, you have succeeded in accomplishing what millions of others in the world have done and that accomplishment is letting your mind control the brain and the five senses experiences.
In Essence, you need to learn the art of being an open minded person, its like meditating, only you must explore your five senses without having an after thought of the experience. It is, what it is, and nothing more. Meaning don't carry on with the experience.
To be continued -
The only exception Ive ever experienced is being in a crowd of thousands at a concert or at a bush rave. Where the energy was peaceful and it seemed all were on the same wave length.
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I think most people do... if you leave someone who doesn't suffer anxiety in a crowd by themselves they will feel alone. I have only been in big crowds at concerts like redsky, and I get mixed emotion. Before the artist is on stage, I feel very alone because people are talking away but once they come on the whole crowd usually unites. I've had many random conversations with drunk people at concerts!
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All the time really, I don't know what it is with me but I just never know what to say to anyone. Its more to do with this dezerlisation that I just feel detatched and normally in my world that much that I can't take much in. But its mostly to do with the fact I feel socially anxious.
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I always feel alone... I could be with my best friend having the time of my life... and yet I still feel like I'm empty, alone, stuck.....
