Answers
  • Asho_DirtyPoo
    Answered by Asho_DirtyPoo
    ears ago

    This is a big exposure you're planning! I hope you've been building up to it with smaller exposure tasks. My best suggestion is to do just that - build up, in whatever time you've got between now and then, with things that are less scary for you than the move.

    I also recommend looking around online and trying to line up some professional help in your new town by making contact before you actually get there, so you know you have someone there for backup if you need it.

    As for the coping skills for during exposure tasks...I'm sure you know breathing is key, aside from that, you can try developing some kind of mantra in your head to repeat over and over in a soothing sort of voice (it can help to stop your thoughts from racing or being negative, if you're focusing them on repeating something else), try to create a "safe place" for you there (ie. somewhere furnished/smelling just like home, or whatever you need to feel safe) that you can go to calm down, journal your feelings...

    But more importantly - journal your successes. Even the smallest successes over anxious feelings (and surviving through the height of an attack counts!), and exactly how you feel during the success, so you can re-read later.

    You can even try writing yourself a pep-talk letter now, before you're actually "in it". Reminding yourself that you'll get through, and that everything is okay, and whatever else you need/want to tell your future, anxious self.

    As I think of any more suggestions of things you could try, I'll post them here! Not necessarily going to work for you just because it's worked for me, or people I know, but everything's worth a shot, right? :)

  • patioelf
    Answered by patioelf
    ears ago

    Hi Erin,
    you sound a lot like me in some ways. Although you are right, your worries about your Mom are founded-I mean I would worry too. That said, I also don't do well thinking that I'm going to be somewhere far away and I'll be trapped. I give you credit for even considering going away. Sometimes I have to go some where that I really don't want to go. And I have a book called "When Panic Attacks" By David Burns. It's also available on CD. I think I've read every book on anxiety. Taking what helped me from each book. But this book? Was the most helpful book I have ever read. Just having it on hand makes me feel more confident, and I use it when needed. He's got a section in the book about what type of therapy might work best for you too, and several different ways to help you with your anxiety depending on what suits you. What works for someone else may not work as well or as fast for you. You can always order the book on line, or you can even run to the library and see if they have it. I found the book to be so invaluable that I keep it on my book shelf for referencing. I thought I might mention this to you because the book really helped me far more than any other I had ever read. Good luck!

  • shaan
    Answered by shaan
    ears ago

    Wow, that is certainly what i call taking action. I think there's some incredibly useful advice here, and would certainly take that on board. I think you're incredibly brave taking this head on, if it's possible to, mention your concerns to your mum, if that is appropriate to do so, and see if there is something you can work out there.

    I find that when i used to go through a severe pancic attack and constantly worry about something, the best thing i could do was just, relax, breathe, and just allow whatever thoughts that were playing in my head to just leave, without over-analysing it. I found that the more i fighted, resisted, got frustrated, worried etc, the more stressed i got, and usually to the point i felt my head was going to explode. I used to have a very strong belief that everyone around me was going to die, it sounds crazy, i know, and i had this anxiety for many years. I think what i learnt about it from hindsight, is that very often we worry and get stressed etc, because we think something is wrong. We then think about this over and over, and it's not long before we are in a complete state of distress. What worked well for me, was just imagining everything being okay, everyone being safe and secure, and i would get that feeling as if that was the case. Any thoughts that said bad things were going to happen, i would just let those thoughts go.

    As mentioned above, it sounds like you could really do with professional support and assistance. With therapists , make sure you find someone who really listens to you and treats you as an individual rather than just another client.

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